Things Women Wish Men Knew (And Practiced!)

No Need to Argue, Boyfriends Just Don't Understand...

Dear Ladies,

How annoying is it to have to constantly remind your dude about your pet peeves and such? And as if that weren’t annoying enough, how irritating is it to be accused of being a nag? Well, here for your entertainment purposes is a list of the top things women wish men knew and would take the time to consider before pissing us off.

1. We Aren’t Objects.

As flattering as it is to know how attracted you are to us, boys, it is not okay to constantly tweek, bite, nibble, slap, smack, pinch, grope, poke or overall molest us. Especially in public. We have boundaries and we appreciate them being respected. We don’t appreciate having our nipples tweeked while cooking breakfast, doing laundry, or trying to watch a movie.  PLEASE STOP. PS: if we happen to be showering together, it is not an invitation to do all of the aforementioned behavior simply because we’re naked.

2. Your Mess Isn’t Our Mess.

Clean up after yourself, especially if you know we have just clocked in three or more hours cleaning/disinfecting our apartments. Your socks belong on your feet or in the laundry basket, not on the floor by the edge of the bed where you know I can see them and will be staring at them for the next two days until you (or more than likely, I) pick them up. Same goes for your underwear.

3. Sex And The City = ESPN.

We shut up when the Lakers are playing, so please shut up when Carrie, Samantha, Miranda or Charlotte is speaking.

4. Same Goes For Magazines.

It’s our porn. Come back in 20 minutes.

5. We Are Not Built to Be Your Mothers.

If we did not birth you, we are not obligated to take care of you. If I don’t feel like cooking, find a frying pan or a menu. Same goes for you guys too: you are not our daddies so don’t feel like you have to save us all the time. We can handle it! (Unless otherwise noted which brings me to):

6. Sometimes We Want You to Be Our Mr. Man.

Don’t ignore us when we cry, sigh, and are in less than a great mood. Hug us, kiss us, and tell us you’ll be there if we need you. Little things like that count (and contribute to your Brownie Points).

7. Don’t Lie. Ever.

We know you broke our favorite glass. We know you ditched our weekly date night to watch the game with your buddies. We know youre still friends with your ex. And yes, now we’re pissed off because you didn’t tell us beforehand.

8. Pay Attention and Be Yourself.

The more you tune us out, the more we have to repeat ourselves–or sometimes not at all, which in your case, men, means that we have moved on. Arousal for women starts in the mind, so when you take the time to satisfy all the little things it only makes us want you more. And please don’t try to be the next Colin Farrell just because we happened to mention how hot we think he is (holy….moly…). You hooked us the first time by being yourself. Stay that way. We notice change, and we don’t like it. Same goes for behaviors: if you go from texting us once a day to once a week, we are going to notice. And we will only become suspicious, which then leads to doubt.

My intentions aren’t to provide a list of “rules” for you, guys, but to simply provide you with a tool to better understand your lady counterparts. We take the time out to fulfill your (sometimes ludicrous) needs, so pay it forward and pay it back!

With Love,

Miss G